My USAF Retirement Mix
Description
Quickstats
Playlist Length
0 days, 12 hours, 37 minutes
Playlist Followers
3
Source
Playlist Last Updated
May 19, 2024
Mood
Amped
Track Popularity Rating
Somewhat Popular
Style
Varied
Average Release Decade
1990s
Main Genre:
Mixed
Reddit Info
Reddit Post
-My biggest Air Force confession and controversy... A few months before I tested for TSgt the year I made it, I got a 4 EPR. My second 4 in a row. After the previous 4, I turned things around a lot, but I never saw my new supervisor. I never got an initial or midterm feedback, but my EPR said I did. I didn't sign my EPR since there was a lie on it. It got routed up that way and marked as Member Declined to Sign. It was a 4 EPR on paper I can still see in PRDA today. BUT on vMPF and my SURF, it shows that I got a 5 that year. Was it a giant error that's never been noticed? Was my EPR automatically raised to a 5 due to supervisor oversight? Was the closeout date on my EPR just after the close out date for testing and not matter anyway? Did I fraudulently make rank since I wouldn't have scored high enough that year with two 4 EPRs on top? Maybe. But since that was 10 years ago and I never made another rank since then...fuck it. - So...I made TSgt with two old 4 EPRs on top. Who's done that? - I got divorced from a foreigner after being married for 6 years and together for 8. Other than paying a couple hundred dollars to process court documents, I didn't have to pay my ex a single dime after my divorce. We parted ways mutually. Out of everything I've wrote so far...THAT might be the most unbelievable. - Or maybe it's this one...After submitting a travel voucher on DTS, I had it reviewed, approved, and PAID OUT into my account in 2 hours and 3 minutes after submittal. I have an old Reddit post with screenshots if you don't believe me. And finally... - I once met Ron Livingston, the main actor from the movie Office Space, in early 2002 at a deployment while he was doing a USO tour promoting the mini-series Band of Brothers. I wanted his autograph but all I had on me was my beer ration card, and I wasn't much of a drinker back then. He signed his name over all my unused punches and handed it back to me with a big cheesy grin on his face. I looked down and saw that he wrote...."Not nearly enough. -Ron Livingston" Fuck you Ron. Ever since I returned from that deployment I've been a functioning alcoholic for over 20 years! Who's laughing now Ron?! Other celebrities I've met the past 22 years... Drew Carey Vince McMahon Big Show Bret Michaels from the band Poison and Gwen Stefani...on the same flight. (Great story if you ever wanna hear it) Hall of Fame pitcher Randy Johnson Kumar from Harold and Kumar Dexter Holland from The Offspring (literally just walked into him inside a random souvenir shop in Tokyo) The band Collective Soul The band Everclear The band Good Charlotte Dog the Bounty Hunter Corey Feldman Kane Hodder (The most iconic Jason) Comedian Greg Giraldo Christian Slater (whatever happened to him?) The Cajun girl from the movie The Waterboy The entire Flyers hockey team Neil fucking Armstrong Chapter 10- "Do You Have The Time, To Listen To Me Whine" This is it folks. But before I go, I'd just to thank everyone that's helped me throughout my 22 years of service while at 9 bases, 4 1/2 years’ worth of deployments, through divorce, depression, anxiety, through all my work and physical and emotional pain... ... ... ... Ok, thanks. Just wanted to make sure everyone was recognized. Moving on... No, well...ok...MSgt Francisco A. And Col Kevin D. You both at least tried and did more than the bare minimum. Though your efforts in helping me didn't always go the way we hoped, you both already know through emails and phone calls and keeping in touch years later, that then and now, I still appreciate you and will always have a lot of respect for you two. And to my current and last commander, Lt Col Timothy H. You approved my Skillbridge and House Hunting PTDY. You didn't need to do that. I got to leave the military nearly 6 months early to better myself and still get paid by the Air Force. That's pretty fucking awesome. And also...Cindy. Thank you. My girlfriend and future wife I hope. I know you are secretly reading all this wondering, more than usual, what the hell is wrong with me, but it's ok. You don't have to acknowledge this post. I'm fine. I'm all good. You are the reason I'm good. You are the reason I haven't gone insane. You are the reason I ended up in Maryland. My short comings in my life and career all served a purpose...because without them, I wouldn't have met you. You are my destiny. You are my meaning of life. You make everything right and you make me happy. I love you. But to the rest of you supervisors and leadership I had...You were there, man. All you guys were... well, you were definitely...at work, just...there. Yup. Now finally, the fun part!! Below are 2 playlists I made that remind me of this day, my life, my career, and just how I felt during a lot of situations. (Disclaimer- I'm a 90s Alternative Music raised Pop Punker Emo Kid that was also a former Metal Head and Hot Topic hack that took up skating and skanking after playing Tony Hawk so I'd have more to talk about at Warped Tours. I also have an appreciation for Star Wars and guilty pleasure songs. This playlist emphasizes all of that) 40% of the songs I would choose as an entrance song to my retirement ceremony. 40% I would choose as my exit song. The other 20% are just fun songs I really like that I listened to during different parts of my career that remind me of certain places and times in my life. But, most of you will probably prefer the second bonus playlist. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6zsr1uBg38cy90krJyyutP?si=-KgBJ-3OQ6ayV4OzzUE81w&utm_source=copy-link https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5XA0m1yvXBHrc7kr2aixbj?si=XZGvBUtwQ-GRoRRlKJUl2w&utm_source=copy-link I'm an old, balding, grey haired, overweight, broken down boomer in appearance now...but I still sometimes feel like the same skinny airmen that use to wear black nail polish and eye liner to work at the Passenger Terminal in Italy years ago while practicing guitar in the break room and skateboarding in the warehouse. But if I really had to choose, I think I'd choose "The Downfall of Us All" by A Day to Remember as my walk-up song because I really want to enter during a metal-core break down. Then I'd choose "Never Going Back" by Hot Water Music as my walk-out song...or maybe "Know Your Enemy" by Rage Against the Machine. I'd then leave and go do donuts in my loud black Corvette long enough for a U2 Dragon Lady to see me from the edge of fuckin' space. Air Power mother fuckers, Air Power. The End ‐--‐-------------------------------------------------------- Epilogue The best response I ever heard for "Thank you for your service" was told to me by a Vietnam vet that's currently an Uber driver. He told me that a battle buddy of his once said, "You know what I say back when someone says Thank You For Your Service?" "You're welcome" TLDR- You DICK! Who skips over someone's retirement speech?? Ok FINE asshole, here it is...I've seen some shit, I've done some shit, I've been shit on...figuratively and literally, but it wasn't all bad I guess. Could have been better... but I (mostly) got over it. I was almost the same rank at 5 different bases, I just left my 5th assignment without a decoration, cheese pizzas are the absolute worst, and Ron Livingston is still an ass. That's it. Today...I relinquish my 341s. Peace out.
Upvotes
26
Subreddit
AirForce
Reddit Username
Mite-o-Dan
Reddit Timestamp
8/26/22 14:13
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