good vibes ONLY
Description
Quickstats
Playlist Length
0 days, 3 hours, 59 minutes
Playlist Followers
2
Source
Playlist Last Updated
November 23, 2020
Mood
Amped
Track Popularity Rating
Very Popular
Style
Loud
Average Release Decade
2010s
Main Genre:
Mixed
Reddit Info
Reddit Post
Oh god, I relate to this so much. Since I switched to the IUD I don’t have the full meltdowns, but I remember burdening my friends with monthly meltdown of feeling fat/ugly/worthless, and genuinely wanting to give up on everything. I’m so proud of you for being able to recognize this, that’s a huge step in the right direction!! There are tons of ways that you could go about it, you just have to figure out the healthy and effective ones. It always depends on the person and the dynamic you have. With my ex, I needed extra space, exercise, and encouragement (he was lowkey toxic and didn’t understand and just got frustrated with me for being so sensitive and having such giant mood swings). I needed to be alone to heal, which was easy because I lived at home with my parents. I couldn’t be forced to do anything, but needed encouragement to do things too. For example, if I was anxious about leaving the house he would encourage me to go to a restaurant, but if we got there and I couldn’t bring myself to go in, he would make me go in and that caused panic attacks. With my current boyfriend, since he’s a major nurturer, he looks after me and makes sure I never stray too far. I’ll shut down and not talk much and push him away but he tells me when I do that, and tells me he understands and that it hurts him, too. So I have to make a conscious effort to not fall into that default. It’s really really hard sometimes. He also makes sure I eat, sleep, etc, and when I’m having a meltdown about something dumb he talks me through it logically. We break down each problem together. I think for you, you should try separating yourself from the issues at hand. If something’s bothering you, write down how you feel and why you feel that way, or draw a little mind map of your train of thought (if your a visual person). Do this before you confront your boyfriend, and definitely do it before it becomes an explosive/triggering topic. It’ll hell you get more of the emotions out and prepare you to stay on track during your confrontation. Something I’ve learned, too, is that when you feel those emotions rising and you realize that it’s not you, it’s the PMDD, you have to take a step back. Stop arguing, stop yelling, stop thinking. Take a few deep breaths (they really do help but it sounds stupid). You and your boyfriend should take a few minutes to collect yourselves, walk around, get a glass of water. Just do. not. continue. arguing. When you’ve calmed down again, you can talk about what just triggered you, why it did and talk about what’s causing the problem here. Work it out together, listen to his theories or suggestions. Leave the past out of it. Remind yourselves that it’s not you vs him, it’s you two vs the PMDD. But do not mistake that for it not being a responsibility of yours, you do have more control than you think you do, it’s just a learned skill. It’s so hard to do, but so worth it. There’s a lot of self control to this. I still struggle with it, like earlier today I snapped at my mom because she talked to me nicely about not burning candles in my room and I was cranky (sure do love PMDD insomnia). I had to take a deep breath and just try not to talk or rant. I knew I was cranky and should take it out on her, so I sulked and drank water and took a few minutes to refocus. I feel so preachy, and if some one told me this a year ago, especially during a meltdown, I’d tell them to fuck off. So I get it if you think this is dumb. But dumb things can help. Set two water glasses aside (you can decorate them as a fun activity together) and make them your Mid-Meltdown water glasses. Or your “I’m-mad-at-you-but-I-need-some-ice-water-to-Cool-down” glasses. Or get a thick ribbon and write “us vs PMDD” on it and you each hold an end while you talk things out. I do a lot of dumb little things but if that’s the dynamic you have, it might be worthwhile. Above all, be patient. Be patient with yourself, because you’re still learning, and be patient with him because he’s doing his best. I wish you the best, and feel free to message me if you need to rant or just want to talk to someone who understands :) Ps, I was taking progesterone pills the week before my period started + taking the pill birth control, which helped a lot but this is really tricky if you have irregular periods. Ask your doctor if this could be a good idea for you? Pps, here’s a link to my good vibes playlist, it’s silly but usually helps A LOT with emotional control and makes me peppy!!! [good vibes playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7kHZegLve839HfUgOeYWyy?si=t5CVJP2JT3GBSMPbGNjueA)
Upvotes
13
Subreddit
PMDD
Reddit Username
Yeet-Cry-Repeat
Reddit Timestamp
4/28/20 20:00
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